Ever wondered why we never tickle adults? Tickling can be violent, humiliating, sexual and rarely playful. Its always an act that dwells in a liminal space. It mirrors the ambivalence of most of our sexual and emotional experiences. One can never tickle oneself. Tickling requires the other and often happens at the boundaries between the … Continue reading On Tickling
I’ve read a ton of books on psychology over the past five years, and I’ve hardly come across a single work that doesn’t make a reference or has a quote from Daniel Kahneman’s ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’. Kahneman passed away last March at the ripe old age of 90. When we hear about the passing … Continue reading Peak, End, and Exit: Daniel Kahneman’s Last Decision
Norman Rush's 'Mating' was a complex, long read. A nameless female anthropologists razor sharp views on life, love and relationships set in the Kalahari during the Reagan era had some fantastic feminist takes on domesticity and love: I had to realize that the male idea of successful love is to get a woman into a … Continue reading Feminism in Domesticity
Arnold Kling’s ‘The Three Languages of Politics’ is a short, succinct and handy toolkit to categorize political communication. For Kling, the three dominant political groups – the Progressives (what we call the Left in India), the Conservatives and the Libertarians communicate along dedicated axes. Liberals view political conflict as Oppressed vs. Oppressor Conservatives view political conflict … Continue reading The Three Languages of Politics
Like most migrants, I insist, with moderate success, that my daughters speak their mother tongue (Malayalam), diligently expose them to Malayalam cinema (highly successful), feed them Kerala’s cuisine (Hobson's choice), infrequently take them to temples (where they are as clueless as me) and often drag them to Carnatic music concerts (which they tolerate for my … Continue reading The Codification of Culture
Each time I hug and pamper my children, I subconsciously know that I’m contributing to the scaffolding of their mental architecture and shaping the landscape of their emotional world. And that dear reader, is the influence of Freud in our lives. Though his ideas are widely discredited today, Freud’s enduring contribution lay in being the … Continue reading On Freud
An apocryphal story has it that Confucius once became separated from his students in a strange city. They were searching for him when a local informed them that he’d seen a man who appeared ‘crestfallen, like a homeless wandering dog’. This clue led them to their master. When they told Confucius how the man had … Continue reading Mental Model for Categorizing Intellectuals
During my maiden visit to Lucknow in 2013, I dropped into the legendary Ram Advani Booksellers. One of the books that I picked up from the visit was Sudhir Kakar’s memoir, ‘Book of Memories’ - a work that first introduced me to the trailblazing Kamla Chowdhry. Kakar -India’s most celebrated psychoanalyst was her nephew while … Continue reading Sudhir Kakar (1938-2024)
I read Jonathan Haidt’s ‘The Anxious Generation’ over the weekend. His work, which examines the impact of Social Media on Gen Z, didn’t have too many ideas that I wasn’t already familiar with. The rise of social media coupled with the introduction of the dual camera in smartphones was the pivot that marked the rise … Continue reading Hikikomori
It’s fashionable to be in therapy these days. Unlike the previous generation, youngsters and adults alike have no qualms in reaching out for help and the stigma around mental health is also on the wane. All good news. But the flip side of this has been the increasing phenomenon of ‘therapy’ speak in the lives … Continue reading The Flip Side of Therapy
